Anxiety & Self- Esteem

At the core of many issues in life is some wound to the self. Oftentimes we lie somewhere on the spectrum of feeling like we’re too much for others or not enough for ourselves.

If you struggle with low self-esteem, you probably have a harsh inner critic that’s been around for about as long as you can remember. That persistent haze of doubt causes you to hesitate on starting up that new hobby you’ve been curious about, apply for that job, put yourself out there romantically, or invite potential new friends over. You feel incredibly lonely. You wish you had someone to talk to. In the relationships you do have, you people-please and bend over backward for certain people in your life because being needed and admired fuels you. You might hate to admit it, but validation from others is everything. And when you’re not getting praise, you fixate on your flaws and mistakes. You even question your value as a human. Even when other people point out your accomplishments or strengths, you have trouble really believing them. There’s a loud voice inside your head telling you you’re not good enough, you’re not a valuable person, and your relationships are doomed because you’re not even lovable. You start to believe you’re no good at anything. That debilitating doubt settles in and over time crystalizes into shame. You ruminate on every mistake you’ve ever made because they’re all evidence of just how unlovable you really are. Forget all the times you’ve done something right — it’s the times you talked too much, drank too much, or didn’t show up perfectly that swirl around in your mind. If these anxiety spirals feel familiar, please know that you’re not alone. I see so men who struggle with these exact same thoughts.

The worst part is? Most men aren’t talking about their struggles. You were taught to suck it up, walk it off, keep it in, and move on. But you know that what you’ve been doing isn’t working anymore. You’re convinced there has to be a better way. And you’re right. With the help of a male therapist specializing in men’s issues, you can calm the anxiety, crawl out of the depression, and start liking yourself again. Therapy for self-esteem will teach you to rewrite the negative story you’ve crafted about yourself. Anxiety and depression often go hand-in-hand with low self-esteem.

Think of it as a cycle. You feel anxious in a social situation because you lack self-confidence. Later, you berate yourself for what you said or did. You’re convinced that you’re awkward and weird and no one likes you. Shame and depression set in — and the cycle starts all over again. If you regularly struggle with anxiety, depression, or self-loathing, low self-esteem is likely at the root of these issues.

If you…

Seek approval or admiration from others
Are afraid of feedback or constructive criticism
Struggle with feelings of inferiority and shame
Find that your self-worth fluctuates
Engage in relentless negative self-talk
Doubt yourself
Avoid stating your needs for fear of rejection or abandonment
Are a perfectionist
Struggle with setting boundaries
Can’t let things go
Fear failure, setbacks, or conflict
Can’t tell the difference between confidence and arrogance
Oscillate between thinking you’re the best and thinking you’re the worst

Then you may be suffering from low self-esteem, anxiety, and/or depression. Seeking counseling for self-esteem in the Bay Area can help.

What is Healthy Self-Esteem?

When you have healthy self-esteem, you know you’re in touch with your inherent value. Whether you’re sitting on the couch watching TV or pulling an all-nighter for work, you know your value doesn’t change. This can be a hard concept for people to grasp in our capitalistic society where productivity is a measure of worth. But I’m here to tell you that you have intrinsic worth regardless of how productive, impressive, or social you are.

Therapy for self-esteem in the Bay Area can help you see that for yourself. I offer a judgment-free place to explore peoples’ issues relating to low-self esteem, such as seeking validation, feeling empty and unmotivated, and fearing rejection.

Therapy for self-esteem will teach you to value, appreciate, and like yourself. Having healthy self-esteem means you accept yourself as you are, but you’re also open to growth.

Think of healthy self-esteem as the antidote to feelings of shame, inadequacy, and self-doubt. You see your shortcomings and are not afraid of feedback — but you also believe in yourself and your capabilities. You set boundaries in your work and personal life because you know you deserve to be treated well and with respect.

Your overall well-being improves because you treat yourself well.

How Can Self-Esteem Counseling in the Bay Area Help?

Together we’ll work on uncovering what harmful beliefs you hold about yourself so we can replace them with kinder, more accurate ones. Think of this as rewriting the narrative. You tell yourself stories about yourself. They’re not always nice, and they’re not always true.

We’ll have conversations about where these beliefs come from and sit with any uncomfortable emotions that arise when we’re doing the work. It may seem straightforward, but just because it’s simple doesn’t mean it isn’t hard. Over time, you’ll learn to manage uncomfortable emotions and distressing symptoms, and you’ll become calmer and more at home in your body.

If you want a life where you:

Set healthy boundaries with work and in relationships
Embrace setbacks or failure as opportunities for growth
Know that you are worthy, just as you are
Have a growth mindset
Adapt to adversity and develop resilience
Love yourself even when you make mistakes
Confidently move through life

Then working with a therapist who specializes in helping men cultivate self-esteem may be right for you.

Self-Esteem Treatment Outcomes

Together, we’ll tackle the anxiety, depression, self-loathing, and any other symptoms of low self-esteem you may be experiencing.

In therapy, you’ll learn to:

Increase your confidence, self-worth, and assertiveness
Develop self-trust, self-respect, and humility
Gain a mature and consistent sense of self
Reframe experiences with a growth mindset
Improve your social skills
Reduce your anxiety and gain coping skills
Confront your fear of rejection and judgment from others
Be less judgmental of yourself
Care for yourself first and let go of codependent or caretaking tendencies
Acknowledge that you can’t control what other adults are thinking, feeling, saying or doing

When you cultivate healthy self-esteem, you learn to value, respect, and love yourself while remaining humble.

If you’re ready to confront the inner critic that’s been holding you back for years, schedule a free consultation today.